Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
