Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize