yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
