Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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