well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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