That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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