Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
