well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I am spending my child support on dildos
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Randomize
