Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Randomize
