i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
