Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
