is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
