I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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