drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I am naked and annoyed.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Randomize
