so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
