I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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