just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
