I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Randomize
