honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
