she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
