if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
She made me pour olive oil on her.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
