Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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