last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Randomize
