I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
