I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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