I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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