great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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