So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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