How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
