Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
