dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
