he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
