...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
