Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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