I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
