break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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