Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
