Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
