I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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