Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
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