something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize