I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
