She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
