he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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