birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Randomize
