You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
