Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
