Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
