Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
