i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
