Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
