i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I need moral support for this bender
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
