i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
